Ewart Bachelor Challenge Backup: Episode One: Courting Now In Session

[highperformanceturtle]

Kenneth?

Kenneth, are you going to get dressed in preparation for today’s episode, or are you just gonna play silly buggers in front of the mirror all day?

“I’m practisin’! Ya ken, for the whole ‘lovestruck at first sight’ 'hing.”

Well, you’re not gonna be lovestriking anyone at all if you don’t get a move on.

“Knowing ye, I’ve got an hour at least. Dornt fuss yersel.”


Sims, players, creatures of all occult or non-occult ilk: Welcome to the premiere debut episode of the Ewart Bachelor Challenge!

It’s almost hard to know where to begin. We (well, I) here at Social Justice Simblr have been preparing for this moment for so long, anticipating one of several possible endings, but how to get the story started? That’s a whole different kettle of Fae.

…Or, in this case, a whole different welcome wagon for other species.


Let’s see… One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Yup, every contestant seems to have made it over from the safe house. Even Cinder, whose headband has gone inexplicably black. Not sure how that happened.

Until this point, they were staying inside a safe house in a secret part of Moonlight Falls, nervously anticipating this very, exceptionally big day…



…now, however, they’ll all be staying here, in our finished and official Bachelor Challenge house! Or, to give it an official name, Préciosité - so named because we aim for this place to host “an interplay of forces, [to be] a place of encounter and mutual ordering of certain of the tensions that extend through the century”!

Or something.

We will explore this house and most of its intricacies effectively as the show progresses, so there is no need for a full tour right now. But what I will say is that it has been designed to cater to each one of our contestants’ preferences and needs. It is all on one floor so that Carlotta does not have to traverse stairs; it has expansive balconies to protect Ellis and Fabala from sun and rain respectively; and it has sufficient food supplies that Cinder and Elisha do not feel obligated to Summon Food for us, amongst other things.


We have some time to kill before Kenneth finally manages to drag himself away from looking as presentable as he can. So while Fae and Ellis have wildly contrasted reactions to Carlotta’s general state of being – Ellis being pleased that someone else is technically undead, perhaps – let’s get’s to know our bachelors and bachelorettes better. After all, you could be seeing them on your screens for quite a while!



Welcome to the House of Hopefully Fun, Fae! Which I’m sure it will be with all those witchy magic sparks flying around…

“Don’t worry. I am, for the most part, benevolent. I never leave poorly conjured apples just lying around on purpose.”

I wasn’t accusing you of that, but that will be comforting for those at home to know. Any other information about yourself you’d like to share?

“Beyond my comment about the veggie burgers? Well, I’m unsure what to say. I’m allergic to water, though I suppose that’s less “something interesting” and more an inconvenience. Kenneth did mention being fond of swimming… And now I’m rambling. Ah… I’m very good with animals? And Animals, in most cases.”

Inconvenience nothing. Rest assured that we will try your best to take your allergy and interests into account during your stay. Speaking of which, you nervous about taking part in a competition for someone’s heart like this?

"I’m thinking of it as less of a competition and more like… a meeting of somewhat like-minded people to get to know an interesting gentleman. If love should happen for any of us, that would be wonderful too.”

Interesting’s certainly one word for Kenneth, isn’t it?

“He’s handsome, of course. I can sympathize with his feeling that the opinions of others are hard to shake off. I think these negative people he’s experienced are wrong about him, though. Negative people so often are. I know we’re likely to disagree on anything involving water, but we both seem to have a healthy respect and love for animalkind, so that gives me some hope.”

For animals and Animals both. What, overall, do you wanna get out of your time here?

“A friend, ideally. People don’t often think so, but true friends who understand and accept you are almost as hard to find as love. I never realized how much I’d miss that connection until Chistery was gone…”

Well, may you make a connection with at least one person here, whoever that may be. Thank you, Fae!


Everybody’s thoughts certainly seem to be on Fae as she walks inside, for better or worse.

Come on, Carlotta, I know she didn’t react the best to you, but is there any need for that?



Hello, Ellis! You look quite nervous about being here, so we’re going to make this quick. Anything you’d like to tell our audience at home about yourself?

“Whilst I’m not technically a vegetarian, I’m happy to eat plasmafruit more often than none. I’m creative, currently working on a way to play music outside without burning half to death.”

Well, you can be sure you won’t have to worry about either of those things here. It must have been a rough journey getting here. And all to complete for the heart of one guy too…

“It’s a terrifying thought! Of course, I wouldn’t have bothered applying if I didn’t like Kenneth but still, will he like me back? This is terrifying!”

Are we to assume from that statement that you do already like him?

“Definitely cute, with a story to tell! I can’t wait to get to know him more.”

And you’ll get your chance to do that, make no mistake. Is there anything, or anyone, else you’d like to get from this, to know or otherwise?

“If nothing else, the chance to meet more and more people from all walks of life is a blessing; I just hope it doesn’t turn out to be a curse.”

Aww. We hope so too. Glad you could spare a minute, Ellis!



Hi, Cinder! Welcome to the house. Would you like to kick things off by telling us something interesting about yourself?

“Something interesting…hmmm…something interesting. Are genies really that interesting? I mean, for the most part, we spend our lives living in a lamp until someone wants something and then…poof…back we go. It’s never at all about us. Oh…I know. I’m claustrophobic. It’s a good thing that a genie lamp is much bigger on the inside, kind of like the TARDIS or a bag of holding.”

Or a PokéBall! …Sorry. Rest assured we will take your concerns about open spaces seriously. Though there may not be much chance with six other contestants and the guy they’re all shooting for running around. Thoughts on that?

“It’s fascinating really. I’ve not met many supernatural beings what with being stuck in a lamp all the time. By the way, who let me out for this?”

…Huh. *in a walkie talkie* Execs, who did let Cinder out for this?

*static on the other end*

… *back to Cinder* Well, I’m sure they’ll look into that. Back on topic, what’s been your initial impression of Kenneth, from what you’ve seen?

“He seems a bit down on himself. That’s kind of unfortunate. Maybe through all of this he will feel better about himself seeing himself through the eyes of others. Oh…and then there are those sparkly wings…”

I see the way your eyes sparkle talking about those! Is there anything else you’d like to gain from the experience, besides his confidence and sparkles?

“Would it be wrong and self-centered if I said not to have to go back into the lamp? Again, who let me out for this? Whose far-out wish was it for me to participate in this…what is this? A contest for love? I do look forward to finding out what other supernatural beings are like. If I get sent back to my lamp after this, maybe I could write a book - sort of a comparative analysis - on the different types of supernatural beings and how they differ from humans - as something to pass the time.”

As fascinating a subject as that sounds, I do hope you don’t have to go back in the lamp, if only for your own wellbeing. Nice to have you on board, Cinder!


Yes, Carlotta, I know. I think Elisha is very fetching too. But don’t linger on him too long, you’re next up.

…


Marlene: Hey, do you work out? Cus I’m liking what I’m seeing~

Oi. Do remember who you came here for please. But at least you people are doing something; I was beginning to think I’d turned Free Will off by mistake.



Welcome aboard the Ewart Bachelor Challenge, Carlotta Spoffard. Anything you’d—

“Wait, y’don’t need middle names, right? Uh, I think it was…Leslie? I dunno, just Carlotta is fine.”

No, we don’t need middle names. I suppose they’d be sort of obsolete for someone of your… state of being.

“Only dead guy here. Well, ‘cept for that vampire, but he doesn’t count. Y’ain’t dead ‘till you’ve been to the Netherworld, that’s fact.”

You might not want to say that to his face, Carlotta… Look, we’re getting off script. Anything you’d like to tell us about yourself?

“I still know somma’ my old magic tricks—They’re actually cooler when you’re dead, some of them. Grim actually came down to the nightclub once and I showed ‘em some. He seemed… Mildly amused. Which I guess is better then hatin’ it. I’ve also learned how to make some damn good drinks, which is great, since the party don’t start ‘till you’re at least a little buzzed.”

Don’t stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up… Sorry. Are you hoping the other contestants will understand your, um, effervescence?

"Well, I’m not much to look at, but I hope they’re into me. As long as they aren’t party poopers, my opponents should be pretty cool. And hey, they can all slam me for bein’ a dead guy, but c’mon—I’ll see ‘em all in the nightclub down there someday.”

Some of them later on than others, though. Kenneth, for instance, has five times the average lifespan, being an Unseelie. Have you formed an opinion on him yet?

“I like his skin. Like, it’s cool ‘n blue and stuff. Wish I had blue skin. Wish I had skin. His accent’s pretty fun, too. Seems like a pretty cool fella to me.”

I’m sure he’ll appreciate that. What would you like to get out of this contest, if not Kenneth?

“Some friends would be sweet. Wouldn’t mind havin’ someone I can hit it off with an’ maybe haunt a bit if I end up booted off. But otherwise, I’ll have a story I can tell, an’ that’s enough for me.”

I’m glad we can provide you with that! Thanks for your time, Carlotta.


Hi there, Marlene! Welcome to the…


Um, apologies, Marlene, the camera appears to be glitching out. We can’t see you. Would you mind getting closer?


…Wait, are you doing that? Marlene, please stop that, whatever you’re doing, you’re gonna fuck with the electrica—

*crack*

…

Okay then. Moving swiftly on.

Please pardon us, folks, while I go swap over the camera to a slightly less… broken one. We’ll be with you in a few minutes.

------



Hi, Elisha! Welcome to La Maison Appelée Préciosité. It seems as though you left a couple of details blank on your admittance form, so I’d like to get some clarification on those if that’s okay? First, how old would you say you were?

“I am…unsure of how to answer this. I have existed for millennia; however, I have only been mortal for ten years. It would be difficult to put a number on my age based on that.”

I see… I assume this is the same for your place of origin?

“I am unsure how I came to be. All I can remember of my past is that acursed copper lamp. At the moment, I make my home in Lunar Lakes for that is where my final master left me after freeing me.”

Aww, poor guy. All right, that should help the folks upstairs fill in the gaps. Out of strict curiosity, what have you been doing with yourself for the last ten years?

"I have picked up some interesting hobbies since being freed. Perhaps the one that takes most of my attention is my research. I am very curious as to the origin of my species and other magical creatures. How did we come to be? What exactly makes us different from other sims? Is it a mutation? Genetics? Are there more magical species that we are unaware of?

"…pardon me. I sometimes get carried away on this subject.”

No no, you’re fine! It sounds like a fascinating topic. And coincidentally, Cinder seems to be fixing to do the same thing! Maybe you two can compare notes?

Anyway, to business. How do you feel being suddenly thrown into a room full of people, all competing for one guy? Nervous? Excited?

“I must wonder how the competition will unfold. It is hard for me to admit this, but I am not the best at getting along with others. Being trapped in a lamp for years on end did wonders to my ability to trust.”

Well, we will try to make allowances for that as best as we can. As will Kenneth. God knows he’s been there too.

“Is it improper to say that he intrigues me? The Fae species is one of the most magical and mysterious. The fact that he is a half-blood and an unseelie makes him even more interesting. On a personal level, he seems like a kindred soul. Perhaps we can share our research together at some point. As to his cat, it would be interesting to see what effect he has on Kenneth’s magic. Some suggest that cats can boost their owner’s magic.

"I apologize, I seem to have gotten carried away again.”

It’s fine. Anything that boosts Kenneth’s esteem, right? One last question. What do you wish to get out of thi—

“What was that you asked? What do I wish? I’ve been asking sims that for as long as I can remember, yet I have never thought of what my own answer would be. What do I want? I believe what I want…is a purpose. Before now, my only purpose was to grant wishes, but now, I do not know what I am meant to do. It is my hopes that through this experience I may find a purpose, perhaps find it with Kenneth.”

Aww… We hope we can get you one step closer to a purpose, if nothing else. Thanks for talking to us, Elisha.


Inexplicably, given his stated aversion to trusting people, Elisha seems to be the most popular Sim in the house thus far. Here, he has Ephie queued up to Enthuse about Magic, Marlene to flirt with him again, and Carlotta to Enthuse about New House.

Maybe he’s born with it. Maybe it’s Genie-line!



Ooh, another Midnight Hollow-ite! I wonder how much you’d gel or clash with Fae; she’s from there too. Anyway, welcome to the BC house, Jo! Care to tell the audience something about yourself?

“I’m really interested in life after death. Not that I want to die, but I read a lot about it, and I really enjoy anything that might put us in contact with the spirit realm.”

Then you are in luck, my friend. Seek out Carlotta later, she might get you in on the ground floor of the Netherworld, as it were. There’s so many people here to compete with for one man’s heart… How does that feel?

“Competition is good for the soul. Brings out the true personality of a person!”

…Okay. And your thoughts on Kenneth, the man in question?

"He seems pretty swell, I mean I haven’t really gotten to talk to him.”

…Feeling taciturn, are we, Jo? That’s okay. I know you want to get to meet Kenneth as soon as possible; we won’t keep you for much longer. We’d just like to know what you wish to gain out of the challenge?

“A new perspective on relationships. I’ve never been in a situation where I have to consistently share my love interest with others.”

Well, we’re glad to give you a new experience at least!

…Talk of the devil; from the commotion outside, it sounds like Kenneth’s making his way into the building! You stay there while I go gather the others.


The competitors assemble around the Greetings Lounge. To be honest, it’s about 11:20, 11:30 AM in game time now, so it’s about time Kenneth got over here.

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’! Feck’s sake!”



“Sorry, sorry I’m late, folks. Jist had a bitta trouble making myself look not like a pig’s ear.”

…Some people seem to be more pleased with this development than others.


Strangely, though, Dwyn seems more inclined to hiss at the women in question. Something you’re not telling us, Dwyn?

…

Oh yeah, I forgot. You’re a cat.



“Sae. This is it. These are the folk I hafta impress. I could end up spendin’ the rest of my life with one of these. …Hey, y'think I’ll need to write down their names so I can keep track of ‘em?”

No, Kenneth. The crew will be on hand to do that.

Meanwhile, it’s a race to see who can fill up Dwyn’s food bowl first. Marlene juuuuust pips Fae to the punch there.



Since this is only the first day, we will have no challenge for contestants or overseer. And due to everyone being unused to each other and the first challenge explicitly involving conversation, there will be no need for anyone to interact unless they wish to. Though for Elisha, this may be more blessing than curse.

Carlotta: “What? Diva? Where do ya get off, pal? What the heck did I do to you? *turns away* Freakin’ cute genies. …Wait.”

I said may.


One thing the people in this house will have to do today, however, is take a lo–

Marlene, will you please stop flirting with everyone? You’re not helping your chances.

…One thing they will have to do today is–

Goddamn, Cinder, you just have chemistry with everyone, don’t you? Perhaps Genie-line is a real thing and not just a Maybelline reference I made up.

…Ahem. One thing they will have to–

Shit, I knew I forgot to do something. Hey Jo, outta the pool please. Until Fae leaves the house, this is a Kenneth-only zone. We don’t want to get water all over the water-allergic witch.



And then Elisha yells at her. Cinder didn’t think this through.

AN-Y-WAY: One thing the people here will have to do is take a look at their lunar horoscope on this here moon dial. It may foretell what is to come for them in the Bachelor Challenge as a whole… or it may be completely irrelevant. But, though I don’t know about you, I’m not taking that chance.

Kenneth, being the ‘prize’, is to go first, then Fae, since she’s nearest and staying out of the whole mess.



What’s it say, big guy?

“Haud yer horses, I’m gettin’ it. …Cancer: Today the Moon Indicates a Possibility of– Betrayal?! Shit. That doesnae bode well.”

Yeah, let’s try and forget it said that ASAP. Here, Fae, maybe you’ll have better luck.

…Ooh! Says here that, as a Leo, she’s got a chance of Prosperity! …Are you celebrating or internally going dammit there, Kenneth?

“Bitta both.”



It’s a mass migration for everyone else to get over there, and funnily enough, Jo, Fae, and Elisha himself are all equally exasperated over Elisha.

To cut a long story short:

• Jo is also a Leo, so also benefits from Prosperity
• Carlotta, being an Aquarius, is set for Great Success
• as is Cinder as a Virgo
• Elisha expects “a possibility of Misfortune” as a Taurus
• Ellis is a Gemini, so Romance is in his stars!
• Marlene is a Libra and also gets Betrayal

To confound matters, Yvette Burgess shows up and decides to have chemistry with half of the people in the house.

Why is it that a vast majority of the budding flirts and attractions in this house are with couples that DON’T involve Kenneth?



Initially, it seems Kenneth wanted to dance with Jo, but she went to the moondial before he could. Now that everyone’s free, he’s opted to dance with Ellis instead.

Ellis: Oh my. Oh my oh my.




Dwyn. What are you doing? What are you doing?

Dwyn! Why are you attacking Elisha like that?! … How are you attacking Elisha from a foot away, for that matter?

“No, Dwyn! Stop ‘at! That whole distance 'hing was kinda cool, but ye went to all this trouble; dornt go scaring anyone off noo!”



So, it’s getting pretty late in the day now. So after Kenneth does a second dance, this one with Cinder, it’s time for food. He goes off to make everyone a mass Autumn Salad (considering we have no oven), while Dwyn seems to have learned his lesson…

and is now attacking considerably closer to Elisha’s feet.



Kenneth: “Uh, I get ya wanted to make this all fancy and decorative an’ all, but how am I supposed to chop a lettuce with all this crap on the counter?”

All right, I’ll move the pie. Spoilsport.

…

Carlotta: “Woo! Go, Dwyn! Yowl Along like it’s your job to do it!”




Dinner is served as the day draws to a close, and the paintings on the walls become slightly more… thematically appropriate. Eating is a sporadic and crowded affair. Just for fun, someone decided to turn on the mood lamp on the table and blue things up a touch.

Consider this an exclusive look, folks, at what Kenneth would look like “vanilla”.

“Whaddya mean vanilla? Isnae this blueberry?”

Never mind.


“What’s all this lot ‘en? Did Cinder set this up?”

Nope. It was there when she got here. And honestly, Kenneth, you’re an Equestrian. Don’t you know hay and a hitching post when you see it?

“Oh. My. God. I’m gonnae gie a horse?!”

It’ll be for a future challenge if you do. It wouldn’t be yet.

“But I am gonnae gie a horse!!”

You’ll see.



As it’s getting to 21:30, some people are already beginning to find their way to the designated bedrooms.

Jo: “Everyone else can be Night Owls if they want, but I’m calling it a night.”

…

Kenneth: “Magic 8 Ball? I’m pretty sure this ‘hing is gonna work. It’s gotta. But I just wanna make sure. Will I find true love? Will this gie me the one I’ve been looking fer?”

… …



Kenneth: “Oh to hell with 'at.”



Eventually, everyone else follows Jo’s suit. Each individual gets their own separate bed - except Ellis. For the purposes of making him comfortable, he has a crypt on which he can levitate.



Dwyn and Kenneth have their own places to slumber: kennels and palaces fit for Fairy Kings. And it is there, in these places of high hopes and expectations, that we will leave them for now…


…I’ll settle for a cup of coffee,

But you know what I really need!

Leave me to lay, but touch me deep

I don’t sleep, I dream

Kenneth will settle for a cup of coffee,

But will he get what he really needs?

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Dev Commentary

• Man, my scripting format was really inconsistent back in the day. Sometimes I'd attribute people to dialogue, sometimes I wouldn't, sometimes I'd forget quotation marks - what was my thought process?
• Marlene's psychic powers came about because the person who created her, simsgurualexis, didn't give me an interview in time. In hindsight, I wish I had made more of a fist of them.
• The only changes that have been made this time is to match up some of the photos with the corresponding text more closely.
• The part with the moon dial started something of an SJS tradition - in every BC and MMBC I've done since, horoscopes have formed part of the first challenge, or that challenge in its entirety. Chambers is the exception, since I didn't remember to do this until the halfway point of the project. Accuracy of the horoscopes will be tested as Sims are eliminated.